I LOVE THESE FACES

It's these faces that make me smile...

This face brings me much joy...

And this one...

And this one can make me break out in all out laughter!

The brother bond is a blessing to watch...

And this smile lights up the room...

And this one absolutely twinkles with joy from the top of his head to the tips of his toes...

And these silly faced boys are the reasons I take this shot every weekend...

not knowing if I will be sick, or if I will be able to go about life...

They are the reasons I will do whatever I have to do to make it through this year of treatment

and be well again.

They are the reasons...and they do not even know it...because life is still a wonderful, exciting,

enjoyable, daring adventure and all they know is laughter and love.

And that is the way I like it...there is plenty of time later to learn about illnesses and heartaches,

tragedies and pain.  For now...life is good and giggly and fun and anticipated.

Just as it should be when you are 6, 4 and 8 months.

And they inspire me to live it with the same excitement, enjoyment and laughter that they embrace every day.

What a gift they give...and they are completely unaware...

But, I am not...and I become more thankful with each passing day for the foresight the Lord had in putting these boys in my life to encourage and inspire me to a higher calling of life and love.

These faces...I love these faces.

And if I feel this way about these faces...

Imagine the joy the Lord feels as our faces are brought before Him...

If He wears buttons...I'll bet they're bursting with pride...

If you feel undeserving of His pride...
then know that His buttons burst with love as well.

I'll bet there is joy on His face and laughter in His throat,

and love, always love, in His heart.

He loves us with an everlasting love...

PASS THE WORD

SNOW

 

                                   Seriously God...AGAIN?

 On the first day of Spring?

 "And have you, My child, seen the storehouses of snow?"

                                 

"For to the snow I will say, 'Fall on the earth'..." Job 37:6

             

As the rain and snow fall from heaven...

So will My Word be which goes forth from My mouth...(Is.55:10)

I give snow like wool and scatter the frost like ashes...Ps. 147

"Behold, you require truth in the innermost being...

Wash me and I shall be whiter than snow." Ps.51:7

One last snowfall to remind us...

HE commands the storehouses of heaven.

PASS THE WORD

THE WRONG PREPARATIONS

I was definitely prepared...I had been preparing for months now. 

Lists and lists of things that would need to be finished by the time treatment started again.  Drawers and closets needed to be organized and simplified so that I could easily get dressed in between bouts of throwing up due to the side effects of the medicine.  Books and new laptop (courtesy of 4 precious children!) readied and available at my bedside so that I could have something to take my mind off of the pain.  Windows and blinds washed so that while I was laying on the bed, or the couch, I would be able to look out clean windows and watch as the days ticked by and the seasons change. 

Frozen dinners and easy food for Ken so that he could eat and I would  not be cooking.  Goodness knows after the side effects the last time we tried treatment...there would be NO way I could be around food!!  Why...last time they had to put rolled up towels under my closed door to block the smell of any food because it made me so nauseated.

All items dusted, carpets all cleaned, floors all mopped...lists all completed.  There was nothing left to do except begin the thing that I had tried desperately  over the last 3 months to NOT think about.  That first injection...those first pills.  Last time 2 hours after the start I had a fever of 105 and chills that shook the bed, followed by nausea and vomiting that did not stop for 15 weeks.

 That Sunday it was quiet in the house...it was like preparing for a funeral march...Ken and I hardly spoke much only because we both knew what was going to happen and it was taking every bit of energy we had just to keep ourselves pulled together before it all began.  The best break came when Jennah and Jess both showed up to take our minds off of things for a couple of hours!  Oh it was the best time...lots of laughing and talking...I made cookies since it was going to be the last time I did that for awhile!!  We had big glasses of milk and ate gooey, warm chocolate chips...mmmmm...a perfect last memory. 

I remember thinking I was the most blessed person on earth...the treatment did not even matter...I was fortunate enough to have a husband and children and their spouses, along with grandchildren to pray over me and for me and that is what we did.  Even as we prayed for complete healing and for an easier time...I believe we all knew what most probably going to happen and we were silently begging that the Lord would just give us the strength to get through it.

After the kids left, there was nothing left to do...all things had been marked off...no reason to wait any longer...just do it...the sooner we start...the sooner the treatment can end next year.

Ken gave me my first of 52 injections...I took something to help me sleep through the worst of the side effects, and then turned off the light praying I would not throw up right away.  I needed some kind of hope...something that would help me think that just maybe we could get through a year of treatment!

I woke up at 1:00 a.m.  I know that because I turned over to see the clock and was astonished that I did not have to throw up!!  Not just that...but I WAS NOT EVEN NAUSEATED!  As a matter of fact...since I did not eat much on Sunday...the torture day...I was...could I even think it????  I was HUNGRY??!  I was afraid to move...I did not want to accidentally cause any warning bells to go off in my body to remind it that it was indeed injected with chemicals and of course,  my mind was tricking me.  BUT NO...I got out of bed...I could walk on my own...I walked slowly into the kitchen, took out a pudding cup and sat down in the big comfy chair in the den. 

All I could do was shake my head in wonder!!  I tentatively at a very small bite of pudding...it...it tasted...good!  I ate it while I watched TV and then...crazy enough...my muscles were very achy...so I did some stretching exercises!!!!  WHAT???!!!   I am taking the same medicine that almost caused all of my organs to shut down last time and covered me with unrelenting nausea!!  BUT NOW...pudding...stretching...watching TV???!!!  This was some kind of dream world!

Ken came out to check on me...He had looked in the bathroom first because, of course we all knew, that is where I would be. He could not believe his eyes!  Shaking his head he went back into the bedroom feeling guilty because we had all, of course, asked...no...we had begged...that the side effects this time would be manageable.  Hundreds of people praying and seeking God's Hand in allowing me to be able to endure this treatment.  I, myself, praying that if the Lord would..."PLEASE GOD, PLEASE...all I am asking for is the chance to get up off the bathroom floor.  That is all!!"  Why were we surprised?

We all continued in amazement this entire week.  It has been a miracle week...no nausea, no vomiting!  A year of treatment is a long time, so we are bound to have some bad days...but this week, God gave us hope.  Hope that not ALL of the days would be so bad...hope that we might make it through the entire treatment. 

God proved Himself to be so much bigger than what I was willing to settle for HIM to be! 
I was willing to settle for Him to just get me off the bathroom floor.  HE was willing to take away the nausea. 
I was willing to settle for staying in bed for most of the year and hoping that I did not have to be admitted to the hospital.  HE was willing to keep me out of bed and even allow me to enjoy my everyday life.

I was willing to settle for a small work of God.  HE was willing to show me Himself in all His glory!!

I had done all that I need to be ready and able to adjust my life during a year of treatment that could, going on past experience, be one of the worst and longest years of mine and my family's life.

I was prepared all right...

I was prepared for everything...BUT ANSWERED PRAYER!

I prayed believing He could... and yet not believing He would.

I am willing to settle for so little from a God who can do so much!

Forgive me, Lord...for not opening my eyes to Who you are. 

Forgive me for asking and not believing and for hoping...but living hopeless.

And so a lesson this week...not just in the mighty works of a praise-worthy God...

But a humbling lesson in how small a God I allow Him to be in my life.

Oh Lord...bring it on BIG in my life!!  Bring it on BIG!! 

And next time I'll preparing to watch anxiously for the Works of the LORD...more than I could ever hope or imagine!

"...call upon Me in the day of trouble; I shall rescue you and you will honor Me!"  Ps. 50:15

PREPARE...FOR ANSWERED PRAYER!

Pass the Word

What's In A Name?

Ecclesiastes tells us that, "A good name is better than a precious ointment." (7:1)

  Proverbs 22:1 quotes, "A good name is to be more desired than great riches.

 

JAXSON

                                                                      JANTZEN

A good name...something to be cherished and valued...a name so grounded in what is good and right that just the uttering of the name brings to mind pictures of integrity, trust, character.

Jaxson and Jantzen's parents have made a decision that their boys will be brought up, not just living up to their names...but to live up to the One who truly knows all of our names.  They got the idea from close friends and I wish I had thought of this when my children were growing up.

Jennah and Jaaf prayed over their boys and asked the Lord to show them not only the godly characteristics that He would like for the boys to pursue, but also those fun, delightful characteristics that the Lord Himself placed inside of them when He knit them together.  Then they wrote these words down for the boys so that the boys can memorize them and then they pray these words over the boys at night...to remind them not just WHO they are...but WHOSE they are.

Jennah's precious friend, Rebekah, who shared this wonderful gift, told her that all through her growing up years, at different times in her life, times of sadness, or questioning, or doubting through teen years...the blessings of her name were carved into her heart to remind her who she is in Christ.

With the help of their parents, God is carving these words into the hearts of our boys as well, as they pray over their boys individually and thank the Lord for these specific characteristics and to help develop them into great men of God who will be strong and courageous warriors for Him.

 

These papers are posted at the head of each boy's bed so that with their waking up,

and with their lying down...they are reminded of a greater calling.

    J - JUST

   A - ABLE TO DO ALL THINGS IN CHRIST

   X - EXUBERANT

   S - SILLY

   O - OPTIMISTIC

   N- NOBLE

And don't think that he doesn't know what these words mean, either.  He is just and fair.
He is learning that he is able to do miraculous things in Christ.
He is exuberance personified from the moment he wakes up to the moment he goes to bed.
There are few 6 year old's with a sense of humor like Jaxson...he can tell jokes, he gets jokes and he loves telling a great story!
He is optimistic and the best encourager I have ever met.
And the older he gets, the more we see his noble side...excellence, well-known, showing a courageous spirit.

 

I could sit and listen to Jantzen recite his characteristics all day.

J - JOYFUL

A - ABLE TO DO ALL THINGS IN CHRIST

N - NOTABLE

T- TRUSTWORTHY (Or as Jantzen would say, "Twustwowy")

Z - ZEALOUS (Zelwus)

E - EXCEPTIONAL

N - NOBLE

Our middle guy has the absolute best giggle...it is deep, it is full, it is joyful.

He is learning as well that through Christ, he is able to do awesome things.  

Even at 4 years old, Jantzen is a notable character...noteworthy, prominent, someone to take note of.

We can all count on Jantz, he is supportive and reliable, and the older he gets, the more trustworthy he will grow.

If you doubt that a 4 year old can be zealous...you have not seen him play Mario Kart or Lego Rock Band!

And as far as exceptional goes...again...watch him driving a track with Mario Kart...he plays to win and he usually does and is exceptional in whatever he tries.

And noble - like his brother, and even though Baby Jarrett does not have an "N" in his name...He will be noble as well...because their parents are instilling the values of a strong, courageous and generous spirit.

 

JARRETT

Our littlest munchkin is already showing us the delightful person that God made him to be!

He does not know the meanings of his name yet...but it won't be long before he knows that he is:

J - JOYOUS

A - ABLE TO DO ALL THINGS IN CHRIST

R - RESPECTFUL

R - REMARKABLE

E - ENERGETIC 

T - TERRIFIC

T - TRUTHFUL 

Let me just say he already has the joyous and energetic gifts down...just ask his mother at 4:00 a.m. when he is ready to play!

Maybe you have children at home who need to be established in the importance of Whose they are!  

Maybe you have teenagers who are subjected daily to the onslaught of lies society tells them they are.

Maybe you, yourself, need to be reminded that you were wonderfully made.

See what the Lord would show you through the name you already bear.

A NAME...WHAT'S IN IT...WHAT SIGNIFICANCE CAN IT BRING?

YOU TELL ME...

J - JUSTIFIER - "For whom He also justified, and whom He justified, He also glorified." Rom. 8:30

E - EMMANUEL - "They shall call His name Emmanuel..." Matt. 1:23

S - SON OF MAN - "In order that you may know the Son of Man has authority to forgive sins." Matt. 9:6

U - UNSPEAKABLE GIFT - "Thanks be to God for His Unspeakable Gift!" 2Cor.9:15

S - SAVIOR - "The Father sent the Son to be the Savior of the world." 1 John 4:14

OR MAYBE YOU LIKE THIS ONE BETTER:

C -CHOSEN - "This is MY Son, MY Chosen One." Luke 9:35

H - HIDING PLACE - "You are my Hiding Place, You preserve me..." Ps. 32:7

R - RESURRECTION - "I am the Resurrection...he who believes in Me will live even if he dies." Jn 11:25

I - I AM - "Truly, truly I say to you...I AM." Jn 8:58

S - STONE - (I am) "The Stone that the builders rejected...the Chief Cornerstone..."Matt. 21:42

T - TRUE - "He who sits on the white horse is called Faithful and True..." Rev. 19:11

What's in a name?  Maybe the better question is Who's in a Name?

"But now, this is what the LORD, your Creator says...He who formed you...'Do not fear (the great Namer says), for I have redeemed you!  I have called you by NAME.....YOU ARE MINE!" Is. 43:1

But the most marvelous name of all...we all share it...it is spelled the same way for you as it is for me...or for Jaxson, or Jantzen, or Jarrett....

H-I-S  

PASS THE WORD

.

Life's Sweetest Treasures

 

When it looks like this outside...

It get creative inside...painting, drawing, I-touch, play-doh...

Sleeping bags filled with giggling boys

get pulled across the wood floors.

  

Pal sets up the tent and tells camping stories to boys who

LOVE his stories...

 

S'mores in the  fireplace...yummmmmm

 

LOTS OF S'MORES...

We don't like to eat them...we just like to make them!

 Sweet Dreams of camping stories, s'mores and snow...

 

Sleep tight Precious One...Your Father watches over you.

Grandchildren...One of God's sweet sweet gifts to show us how much He delights in us!

PASS THE WORD

NEW OBJECTIVES

Usually a new year brings with it a sense of anticipation.
Excitement over what the new year might bring, new experiences, new people, new babies, new joys. And so we toast with a "Happy New Year" and look forward to all of the possibilities it offers.
I could not toast to a "Happy" new year, this year. I am getting ready to once again try to eradicate this blood disease from my body and that will entail a year of chemo in the form of Interferon shots and lots of pills to take. And while I am not afraid of the treatment and what it might bring...I am not looking forward to it.

If last time was any indication then:


Then I'll be spending a lot of time here...

Taking a lot of these...

Hoping they don't make kneel in front of this!!!!!
Sorry for the indelicacies...but this was my view for 4 months of 2006!

So I have made a commitment that I will spend my time in bed focusing
more on this...or more importantly...HIM.

And hang onto every word in this!

And allow these songs to minister to my heart as I worship...

I will cling to the hope that this time will be better, and

Count my blessings for all of the wonderful family and friends whose prayers and love will get me through this next year!

I will do whatever I need to do to get well...

So I can swing with him...

and jump on the bed with  him...

And snuggle with him!

And when all is said and done...I pray that the testimony of God's work during this time will bring Him glory and honor...

And while I am not looking for this to be a new year of "Happiness",

I am counting on this to be a year of "Blessing and Hope"...and that sounds better than "Happy" to me.

Because ultimately...I want to grow old with him.

"Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you.  You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart." Jer.29:12,13 

So lift your glasses with me for a toast..."To searching after God with all our hearts..."

Because there is good news for those of us searching with all our  hearts

He promises we will find Him!

PASS THE WORD

2010 - NEW!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

NEW SONG – He put a NEW SONG in my heart…a song of praise… - Ps. 40:3

NEW MERCIES – His MERCIES never fail, they are NEW every morning…Lam. 3:23

NEW CREATURE – If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature…2 Cor.5:17

NEW SELF -  And put on the new self…created in righteousness…Eph. 4:24

NEW WORK – Behold, I am doing a new work…I will make a road in the wilderness…a river in the desert…Isaiah 43:19

NEW HEART – I will give you a new heart…Ezek. 36:26

NEW SPIRIT – I will give you a new spirit…Ezek. 36:26

NEW LIFE – As Christ was raised…so we too might walk in newness of life…Romans 6:24

AND THE SAME:

UNCHANGING, EVERLASTING, ALMIGHTY, PROMISE-KEEPING, MIRACLE WORKING, COMPASSIONATE, ALWAYS MERCIFUL, ALL-KNOWING, EVER PRESENT, EVER LOVING, LIFE-GIVING, LIFE-SAVING, LIFE REDEEMING, HOLY…HOLY…HOLY…GOD!

PASS THE WORD!


"I am the Alpha and the Omega...who is...and who was...and who is to come...the ALMIGHTY."  Rev. 1:8